Window to the West
by Tindomiel
Summary: Third Age, 3021, Yavannie: From the scribing chamber in Minas Tirith, Arwen writes a final letter to her departing father.


Dear Father,  
  
I cannot see you, but my dreams are always with you. I write this in the West Wing, by the north-western window, that I may look up and try to peer into the horizon. I can see the sea, and my tears join it.  
  
This day, you are leaving Middle earth, and though I try to withhold you, postpone the hour, it is inevitable. It needs to be said, futile though it may be, but I will miss you. Send my love to mother. Be joyful. After an age, you will finally see her again. My greatest regret is that I won't.  
  
I never knew, that moment, the moment she embraced me before leaving Imladris on her palfrey for the Havens; I never dreamed that it would be the last I would ever see of her. You did not think so either. Of course, you blamed Aragorn, but you know as well as I do it is no fault of his. Still, you set him a high price for me, knowing you would pay a higher price in losing me. In a way I am grateful, and in a way I pity you.  
  
I am sorry I will not be able to escort you, but my duties as Queen forbids excess time. If I had come to see you, it would have been the last time I ever did. So I am thankful, in a way, that it did not have to happen. We shared our last words years before, and letters since. All that should be said has been said. But I know I cannot face you again. Neither of us could bear it. I love you father, and I will miss you. That is all.  
  
Send my greatest regards to her lady Galadriel – her granddaughter missed her terribly, and is eternally grateful for her aid to my love during these troubled times. I also give my respects to lord Mithrandir, little though I know him – but I know Aragorn and yourself hold him in great respect.  
  
It is fortunate that my brothers are staying a little while longer. Legolas, Thranduil's son, has established a realm in Ithilien. I have not known him long, but I like him immensely. He is quite withdrawn, but rather poetic I think. And I remember you once called his father a gold- obsessed drunkard! I cannot help but laugh at the irony. Legolas does not drink; I have never seen him drink, save for the Elven wine at our wedding. He does not have a wife, and I fear he never will do so, however I try to introduce him to my ladies. He is a good friend to have. I have the highest opinion of him. We visit each other often. I hardly ever see him without his greatest companion, Gimli, son of Gloin. That too, is ironic. He makes friends with the son of his father's one-time prisoner! It is rather laughable, and so are they. I bet you never imagined this pairing either, of all the walkers in the Fellowship!

Imladris will be in good care. Elladan follows after you in organisation, and Elrohir is a born leader. They have both promised to visit me often, and fulfil the duties of being uncles, but there is much to do in the Last Homely House, or so they say.  
  
At present, it is very busy in Gondor, but afterwards, Legolas and I are planning to visit Lord Celeborn together. No doubt he will be very lonely and perhaps even melancholy without his Galadriel. But we both know he could not go with her; it was impossible; it just was not his time. But I am sure he misses my mother too. Is there a day he has not? Aragorn informs me he has attained more land. He and Thranduil have now officially split Greenwood between them. Lothlorien is now left to itself. The time of the Golden Wood and her Lady is over. My Grandfather now resides in 'East Lorien'.  
  
As you know, I gave my Evenstar to Frodo. He will need it to heal himself fully. I share your concern for him. It was a noble deed that he took upon himself. Please look after him and say to him that the Evenstar thinks much of him.

I wish you could stay longer, I really do. You and mother will never see your grandson -- I feel it within me; the child will be a prince. But he will never see the glory of his grandsire, lord Elrond Peredhil. Nay: he will go the same way as my long passed uncle, and that saddens me. He will never know the full splendour of his Elven heritage; his name itself is merely an echo of the truth.  
  
I will not be taking the straight road. No, not even when Aragorn is gone from this world. What good is Undying Bliss without my beloved to share it with? I shall, too, pass away the same way as he. You know this. It has not been foreseen by you alone. There will be no ship left to take me. I will finally comprehend Man's Doom: I will not come to Aman.  
  
I love you more than mere words can speak, father. My choices and decisions were mine alone, and I do not regret them, therefore you should not either. Think not too much of me. Elladan and Elrohir will be joining you sooner than you think. Even Legolas will go someday. Like Luthien though, I will pass into history and out of memory.  
  
But I am being too emotional. All that I have said so far, you are not in doubt of. Yet it pains me so much to not even be able to see you go. It seems an age that you have cared for me, and loved me. And now I am finally grown, instead of my leaving the nest, it is you who departs from me to my fate. You may misunderstand me; I do not blame you, or accuse you of abandoning me. I am not glad in the least that you are going, but I feel and know in my heart that it is the right path. I have seen Vilya. You are happier with it as mere decor.  
  
Since this will probably be the last communication between us, then I will put all things aside.  
  
I am sorry, father. For the love of one I have spurned another. I can never forgive myself for that. Countless times you have forgiven me, and put the matter aside, and though I know those words have no real worth, I feel better for saying it.

Very well then, I am not sorry for my choice. I am sorry that I put you through this grief.  
  
Let me also add: if you will cast you mind back seven-dozen yeni ago? It was a beautiful vase, an heirloom from the age of the Trees. Grandmother was very fond of it I remember. It was such a shame when it was smashed. You stormed around for days finding the clumsy culprit. Erestor questioned us, the children, for hours; I was instructed to silence.  
  
Let me say now, what I could not say those years ago: It was Elrohir. I smile at the memory now.  
  
You accused him of many things, and he was a clumsy child, and still is - but the incident regarding the burnt tapestry was _not_ due to him. Rather, it was I: sleepless at night, I wished to gaze at my favourite picture. It was a depiction of Luthien dancing. Unfortunately, my lamp was too close to the fabric. At least they managed to salvage the wall and surrounding trees. But I was too scared to say anything. I believe I confessed to Glorfindel, and he kept confidence. And it was from that time that he became my close friend. Indeed, I learn to ride from him, without your permission. He let me ride Asfaloth, whenever I wished, with him. All these things you never knew about father! At least my conscience has been cleaned at the fringes, somewhat.  
  
So concludes the last confessions of the (usually) immaculate Evenstar.  
  
I wish you well, my father, and may Elbereth shine down on your ship into the Western sky. My love is with you always.

It seems the only thing I can say in a letter.  
  
All my Love  
  
(Queen) Arwen Undomiel  
  
TA 3021, Yavannie


End file.
